I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
