Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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