To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize