the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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