Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
