Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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