I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
