i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
