OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
