some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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