So drunk its hurt
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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