i need an iv and a liver transplant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
tell me about the eggs
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
