kristin has been a bad kristin
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
