I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize