Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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