it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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