Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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