I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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