I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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