i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
