she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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