This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The power of my boobs compel you
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
