My cat gives me a boner
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Boobs speak an international language.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
