brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sobbing to NWA
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
