Just fell off a train. Bad.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize