My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
wow bdsm is so cute
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
