I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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