I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
