Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
