He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
