I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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