my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish I could teleport
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
