Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
