it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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