I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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