Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
