Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
