just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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