Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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