sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize