Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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