Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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