Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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