Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
