I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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