I accidentally had phone sex last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize