Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
