nutella sex= disaster
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
