I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
