Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
