JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
