Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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