Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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