I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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