when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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