we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize