who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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