I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
