shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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