It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.