Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?

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(971): View more from Oregon

you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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(602): View more from Arizona

I demand visitation hours with the duck.

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(631): View more from New York

I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this

(260): View more from Indiana

You're my fucking hero

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