hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???