He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.