Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed