i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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