Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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