You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
