Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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